Ad: The Real Women Report

This ad for some super-duper breakfast drink for 'real women' is getting attention tonight. Why? Because it allows real women to identify and to laugh - a rare combination in any genre. Unfortunately, I had to check which brand was being featured in the ad. Perhaps that's not so much of a problem if you live in the market where the spot will be aired, or if you're familiar with the brand name. I'm sorry, Organic Balance - I've never heard of you before tonight, I have no idea about the benefits of your product, and I'm unlikely to see your excellent spot on my telly, or your product on my supermarket dairy section. 

But bravo anyway. 

Finite

I wonder if Bronwyn Bishop is surprised that she failed to secure pre-selection for her seat of Mackellar, on Sydney’s blue ribbon Northern Beaches. Scuttlebutt is that Tony Abbott was utterly blindsided by his loss to Malcolm Turnbull in last September’s leadership spill. Was Ms Bishop any better prepared for brutal reality?

Niki Savva’s book Road to Ruin - Road To Ruin - How Tony Abbott and Peta Credlin Destroyed Their Own Government, catalogues several warnings in the days leading up to the leadership spill, and yet Abbott seemed oblivious. Some would say he is still oblivious, somehow assured that in time, his former backers will understand their error and reinstate him as Prime Minister.

Ms Savva’s book also explores the blustering stupidity with which the Prime Minister’s office handled Choppergate, and its role in the lead up to the September spill. It was just another debacle in a year which started with the Prince Sir Philip fiasco, but it held the attention on the media and the public for weeks longer than it should have. Ms Bishop’s instinct had been to offer a mea culpa within days of the scandal hitting the papers. She was instructed by the Prime Minister’s office not to apologise.

Nothing will pardon the former Speaker of her lavish tax-payer-funded lifestyle, although on a national scale, that’s a far less grievous crime than the way she behaved as Speaker of the House. She won’t admit that, of course. Ms Bishop’s instincts regarding the electorate had always been better than her political choices, how is she feeling now, the day after her political career was ripped from her?

 Is she cataloguing the usual roster of excuses: generational change, tarred by her association with a disgraced former acolyte and his abrasive Chief of Staff, a combination of sexism and ageism conspiring against her, simply time to retire?

As I watched her preside over the House for almost 2 years, demanding silence on her left and inviting Labor Members to leave the chamber under 94A, were there also quiet moments in the darkness when she admitted, if only to herself, that her behaviour as Speaker was entirely without honour?

And now, when it appears to be all over, does she expect a farewell party, a gold watch from her former colleagues in the Liberal Party? Her single, untarnished claim to fame is that she survived in Federal Parliament longer than any other woman because she didn’t know when to retire.

Today, Liberal MP Darren Chester tweeted “Bronnie blazed trail for other women in politics: she has been a warrior for her cause: I wish her well ‪@rharris334”

It was a generous assessment by Mr Chester. Ms Bishop blazed no trails. She was not the first woman to serve in the Australian parliament, or the first female Senator or the first female member of the House of Representatives. She wasn’t the first female Minister or even the first female Speaker. She just couldn’t see when her expiry date was passed.

In isolation, her CV should look spectacular, yet the two words most strongly associated with Ms Bishop are probably helicopter and kerosene. Her first act as Shadow Health Minister was to support the tobacco industry; her tenure in the shadow health portfolio was short.

Today, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has paid tribute to Ms Bishop, using words that could just as easily describe an ocean liner, and probably should.

"She's been a magnificent figure on the national stage as a minister, as a member, senator, speaker. Bronwyn is unforgettable; she's dynamic, she's colourful, she's charismatic and we thank her, on behalf of the Liberal Party, we thank her for her extraordinary service."

The former Prime Minister, another to be unceremoniously dumped, described his political mentor as a “warrior for good causes.”

I’m pleased to see her gone, but can’t quite bring myself to do a happy dance at her demise. She will suffer this defeat, although I suspect she may be feeling some measure of relief that she can stop being that warrior, that magnificent ocean-going vessel, and just sit down in her satin pjs and watch the soaps.

For now, the former Minister for Aged Care in the Howard Government will have to fund her own helicopter jaunts from her meagre parliamentary pension of just…wait for it…$9,614 per fortnight. That’s more than ten times what an aged pensioner gets, and one helluva reward for a career marked by prodigious ambition and humiliating failures.

The Beggars Are Choosing

I'm dabbling in what some would call the 'dark art' of direct selling - also known as Multi Level Marketing (MLM) and Social Selling. It's a simple concept, and let's get this straight at the top of the page, nothing to do with dodgy pyramid schemes, Ponzi structures or scams. 

MLM is a legitimate business model that exists in some measure in every business there is. As consumers, we share informal news and reviews of our purchases with the people in our lives. We recommend restaurants and movies and makeup and real estate agents. Car dealers will tell their customers "recommend us to your friends and if they mention your name, we'll give you a free tank of petrol". We all prefer to spend our money in shops where our friends and family work. It's a sales model that has been operating for over a hundred years, and includes such iconic brand names as Avon, Tupperware, Amway and Herbalife.

In the almost-six-months I've been in direct sales, I've had fights, I've lost friends, and I've felt the slightly condescending chill of former colleagues and friends, even family peering down over a cliff of corporate superiority at poor little ol' me, and shaking their well-salaried heads at how far I've fallen.

One of the two companies I represent is Jamberry, a relatively new company selling a range of revolutionary nail wraps. "Revolutionary?" I hear your forehead wrinkle in confusion. Okay, they won't overthrow any governments, but they are throwing the nail fashion business on its ear. Jamberry has only been operating in Australia for six months, and has done amazingly well. It's a good company. They reward their consultants well, their staff at head office adore the company, they have positive values, and they really do believe in supporting the communities that support them. Last year they raised over USD150,000 for the Nepal Earthquake Appeal, and every year they team up with Autism charities in the USA to raise money through sales of their wraps.

They have done the same in Australia, partnering with Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) to raise funds through the sale of especially designed wraps. It's fair to say that we've had to give this American based company a crash course in Australian culture, and they've listened well, with $1 from the sale of every wrap sold in Australia to Legacy. It's a great charity, and I'm so proud to be associated with a business that is so willing to do this.

Having said that, we're now halfway through April, and Jamberry Head Office has had to announce to its New Zealand team that despite a determined effort, they have been unable to find a suitable charity in New Zealand to partner with Jamberry in fundraising for New Zealand Veterans. 

It wasn't until the last two weeks that I learned just how far down the societal totem pole direct sales organisations are: there are charities that don't want our money. Yep, those wonderful organisations that hold endless cake stalls and raffles and lamington drives and sausage sizzles to keep the meagre funds flowing don't want funds raised via Jamberry.

I know our people tried to talk to several organisations in New Zealand. I know that there are prominent New Zealand associations that assist veterans, and which could have benefitted from a few thousand dollars to stock up on blankets and woolly socks before the winter. 

Instead, those funds that would've gone to New Zealand veterans will be rolled in with the funds raised for autism charities in New Zealand, another very worthy cause.

It's not only Head Office that does the fundraising, though. There is a robust fundraising system that allows consultants to partner with local organisations. The process is similar to selling raffle tickets, or holding a Pie Drive, or selling chocolates to support the local hockey club, except of course, we sell nail products. The consultant teams up with a registered charity, and provides marketing materials, and might hold demonstrations, parties and stalls. The organisation distributes the marketing materials and collects orders/money - although that can all be done online now, so the charity doesn't have to handle orders, cash or inventory. The consultant collates the orders, coordinates deliveries and at the end of the month, Jamberry writes a cheque to the charity. 

I have prepared fundraising proposals for four local causes in the last six weeks. I've been knocked back by two of them, a third started advertising a Jamberry fundraiser with a different consultant without even letting me know, and the fourth hasn't responded.

Within the space of half an hour last week, I received a coolly polite rejection letter from one local branch, and a letter begging for a donation from the national office of the same organisation. Is our reputation so poor that others are loathe to associate their name with ours? My fundraising offers have even been knocked back by a committee of which I am a member. 

Next time I hear that a charity is desperate for funds, I'll think twice. I'll wonder if they have had offers of fundraising campaigns that they've knocked back, and I'll wonder if I want to support an organisation that can afford to be so picky.

For the record, the other company I represent is Your Inspiration At Home. YIAH offers a similar fundraising programme, but as I've only just joined the company, I have yet to make a fundraising approach to anyone. It's really disappointing when someone rejects your business to such an extent that they won't engage in fundraising with you.

If you'd like to work with me to raise funds for your charity, please email me on sal@sallypiracha.com.

To contribute to Legacy Australia, 
order your wraps online at https:sal.jamberrynails.com.au.